On Saturday, Amelia turned twelve. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because it's hard to believe I'm a mom, much less a mom of a twelve year old.
We were living in San Francisco twelve years ago and I was a student at City College. Jonathan and I had been married for six months and we had plans to have children eventually. I wanted to finish college and then maybe have a career. My school load was heavy with biology, math, philosophy and who knows what else. It was a hectic semester. I was also volunteering at San Francisco General Hospital in the labor and delivery department as a doula and working part-time at a health food store.
I was so overloaded that I didn't question my fatigue and desire for bland food. Every time I walked into the cafeteria, all I craved was greens and rice. I was feeling so nauseous. My friend suggested that I go to the school nurse. I didn't know what was coming. The nurse sat me down with the pregnancy test to tell me that I was going to be a mom. What a shocker. I walked to my car, in a cloud, crying with happiness and disbelief.
After what seemed to be the longest pregnancy in history, I gave birth to my 10 lb, 5 oz girl. When she was born, all my priorites shifted. No one could have prepared me for that rush of love and protection I felt for her. I was the mama bear and she was my cub. Never mind the fact that she was a colicy mess and I was seriously sleep deprived. I would do anything for my baby.
My daughter has taught me how to be a mom. Gently, she has guided me. She loves me unconditionally as I do her. She tells me that I'm her favorite mom and we laugh. "No really mom," she says "You're the best mom." And then she kisses me.
I am so grateful to have my daughter in my life.
Happy Birthday Amelia!
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